(Preliminary Disclaimer: The author is an atheist born to Hindu parents and was never a Christian or a Greek, although the jury is still out on the God issue)

Everybody knows about the ancient Greeks – one of the first advanced civilizations that emerged in Europe. They are famous for their rich mythology peppered with drama and violence (hey, something had to make up for the lack of TV!), wherein heroes and gods perform incredible tasks that make for awfully entertaining stories.

Then there is the Bible – bland and confusing, written supposedly by God himself. Needless to say, it is about as entertaining as a gothic melodrama written in broken sign language. If it wasn’t already obvious, I am suggesting that the Greek gods are infinitely better than the God of the bible. To prove this point, without further ado, I give you:

The Six Reasons Greek Gods are Better

1. They would kill you for your sins
   The Greek gods are neither good nor evil, merely powerful. To this end, power is their defining quality rather than goodness – and nowhere is this more evident than in the case of Ares killing Halirhothius for violating his daughter.

   In comparison, the Judeo-Christian God sent his son to eventually die helplessly for the sins of others.

2. They reproduce without human help
   Why did the all-powerful God of the Bible need the Virgin Mary to reproduce? Because you are not allowed to question his divine plans, that’s why.

   On the other hand, Greek gods were far more human and had relationships and offspring among themselves.

3. The mergods – Jesus vs Hercules
   

   Heracles/Hercules was half-man, half-god – just like his Christian counterpart Jesus. However, he had superhuman strength and performed various tasks of Herculean difficulty. As far as Jesus is concerned, all his miracles were merely performed to persuade witnesses into conversion, and furthermore he was not able to prevent his own embarrassing demise.

4. They are not “all-powerful”, and hence more plausible
   

   The problem that arises when a human being sets out to write a book under the pseudonym of an omniscient being is that there are a lot of contradictions and unbelievable facets in the story. The Greeks cleverly avoided this by depicting their gods as almost human, just with larger amounts of power and wisdom. There was no omniscience or omnipotence involved, which probably made it easier to convince followers too.

5. They made creatures like the Centaur and the Minotaur
   

   Compared to…well, nothing from the Bible compares. Need I say more?

6. They weren’t half as dumb
   as the guy who wrote the Bible. At the very least, they knew the Earth was a sphere. Well, not necessarily, but they never said it was flat. Atlas, anyone?

And those, my friends, are the six reasons Greek gods are better. Besides, they star in their own comic books, which means they are much cooler than some dumb old geezer who’s planning to send me to a hell I don’t believe in.

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